What's In A Smile

We do things without knowing why we do them like look down when we pass a group of people or lower the tone of our voice as we're getting ready to hang up the phone from a conversation, by the time we reach 'goodbye' our voice is at a full blown whisper. I know there are some smart asses out there that's saying "i don't do that" ok - well I'm not talking about you - but there are folks that know what I'm talking about here.
This brings me to the concept of smiling. We are taught that it is polite to smile. That a smile shows a sign of friendliness or is a disarming mechanism that makes folks more comfortable to be around you. Its a sign that you are easy going or non threatening. Well, do you ever wonder the message that people who don't smile are trying to convey.
I hate it when I walk down the street and guys say to me - you should smile more often, or why don't you smile. I say to that - smile about what, there's nothing funny or nothing to smile about. Smiling put people at ease in an instant, yet not smiling tells folks they should keep their distance or that something is wrong. Do you think people that don't smile are really afraid inside to let people close or to invite people to talk to them. Its their way of creating distance. Or people that don't smile are those that want everyone to know they cannot be messed with and use it as a warning to keep your distance. Or yet again, not smiling is a sign of unhappiness with oneself and life in general. The inability to be lighthearted and can be a recipe for depression or heavy burdensome issues so you stay away.
Smiling can also be deceptive. You can smile and disrespect someone with a smile on your face. You can smile and lure someone in , gain their trust and then stab them in the back - with a smile of course.
So look at a smile carefully. All smiles are not created equally. You can tell when its a heartfelt smile or if its a mask smile. A smile isn't a smile unless you feel it from the heart and see happiness in the eyes. Otherwise the smile is nothing but a learned reaction with little meaning intended. Use your smile wisely and spread happiness intentionally. Smile wide if you feel me!
farewell.

originally published 11/10/2005

Publisher's note: still smiling.