The secret to getting married (if the choice of mate doesn't matter)

Do it while you're young and stupid, you won't know what you're doing or why. You'll be living out your socialized identity without respect to who you will become once you are in your right adult mind. Marriage while young and dumb seems to stunt mental growth, so coming into yourself takes longer especially if you decide to have kids. You have to neglect your needs and desires to place the needs of your family first because that's what you been taught, right. Plus you'll have help from your family why? because you'll be young and they'll know that you need the help. Maybe you have to find a job, finish school, want to start your career, but you have to work so you can pay bills and the babysitter and the after school program so you can do your thing - IF you ever get to it since you'll be tired all the time.
Why do you think men want to marry women while they are young - because young girls work so hard to impress and prove how grown they are. They will do what they can to keep their man from looking at other chicks. (almost) Every young girl's dream is to find a man to marry and live happily ever after. Why do you think grown men like messing around with younger chicks? Cause they can mold you and impress you with simple things like jewelry or a weekend trip to the Poconos. They know what you want to hear - cliche messages that the cosmopolitan magazine quiz says he'll say if he really loves you.
The older women get, the more annoying and one dimensional most men become. It becomes harder to find a man with less transparent bullshit and more grown and sexy substance. The one thing I can offer in this regard is to be who you want to attract. If you want confident - then be it. If you want funny, then be it. If you want sexy, then be it, just be sure its really who you are. Everyone can spot a fake. You can't ask for what you cannot offer up and then some. (if you want to earn respect from your mate in most cases).
So there you have it, the secret ladies to getting married is do it while you're young and dumb, before you start thinking beyond what society taught you what being a woman means. There are some women whose goal in life is to get married and have kids - mainly because that's what their families were all about. Some say you are not a true woman unless you have had a child. Everyone has their own ideology about the subject, but single women are blessed with the freedom of choice, movement and happiness to be what we want when we want and no one can tell us different.
Now I'm not saying we don't need or want a man - I am a believer in couple hood and marriage - BUT, speaking in my grown and sexy voice - the longer you stay single, the more wiser your choice in choosing a mate! Live your Life, Be in Love with yourself and who you attract will reflect who you are at your core. Don't waste your time looking for love, spend your time finding yourself. Happy Hunting Ladies!!

originally published 11/5/2005