These blog entries is what's keeping me sane right now. It consists of my brainless mind chatter, random floating thoughts and horrific opinions I dare not say in the middle of a stuffy cocktail party but I think them as people tell me stories of their adorable loved ones.
I am a closet basket case as I think we all are. I wonder whose our standard for normal in this country? Normal seems to be 'he who reminds me of myself' any other diversion goes into the weird category. That's not really true, but it makes thinking really simple to categorize people in that way.
Why is it that every time my business ideas or special projects gets underway and begins to build momentum somehow outside influences has a way of becoming increasingly demanding so as to bring me to a point where i feel i have to choose between on or the other. And its always big issues, but then I feel like I'm setting myself back. But my family needs me, or either i help or the situation becomes desperate - its always a tough decision - but no more. I realize that this is just how it is going to be and in order for progress towards my goals to take place then i need to be selfish without guilt of focusing on myself and having my future in mind.
Ultimately its your life and you have to live it knowing you made your best attempts at reaching your dreams. Divisive tactics will come from every angle just to test you and see if you are really committed to your own success. If you are not, diverting your attention will be shamefully easy. If you are, you will have to make some very hard decisions and it may be the least popular among your family and friends. But the courage to live out your dreams ultimately lies with you.
Encouragement is a treat - savor it and count your blessings. It's truly a gift to have someone who wants to see you succeed. For the rest of us who must overcome doubtful energies, selfish and demanding family members, parents that don't understand why you don't just get a postal job with benefits, a jealous spouse or an insecure friend who wants your free time unconditionally - Focus and the courage to follow your dreams are the essential ingredients to living outloud and standing in integrity with your thoughts. Remember life is what you make - don't let someone or something take it away from you. Focus Mayun!
originally published 11/15/2005
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