Just want to share with the outside world that you are not obligated to do anything you think you are supposed to do with the exceptions of a few things. If you bring a kid in this world, you are obligated to raise it until it reaches legal age. This only includes feeding it, clothing it and keeping it alive - everything else is your choice. You are obligated to do what you say you are going to do in all instances, otherwise - why say it. But you are not obligated to go to the bathroom with your girlfriend because she is your friend, or to pick up the phone if it rings because someone is looking for you or babysit for your cousin because you don't have kids and according to someone else - need to have some in your life.We all make choices in our lives because its how we want our life to play out, but when folks find a way to impose their beliefs into our lives it simply helps us strengthen our boundaries. When someone says, you're getting old, you need to get married soon or have babies soon, or why don't you buy a bike and ride with me or you should get a T-mobile account so we can talk for free - notice that its all for selfish reasons. Its all for others to benefit from you making that choice than from you making that choice for your own good.
Just because someone asks something of you - you are not obligated to comply. Just because someone offers advice, you are not obligated to follow. Just because its family doesn't mean its right, true or obliged. Make decisions that are in your own best interest no matter who it may upset or turn off. Ultimately your happiness and health is what matters in this world. If helping others negatively impacts your state of mind or health - then don't do it. Stress kills - be true to your spirit.
originally published 11/14/2005

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